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| Ever wonder 'what' ......'makes & keeps' a Relationship ...Healthy? |
After my own failed marriage of an almost 20 short years, 'back then', I have tried to find some answers on the intriguing question....
'Why do some 'unlikely' relationships, succeed, while others, Fail ?'
Baie 'gesaghebbende' kommentaar is beskikbaar oor die onderwerp...
Dog, ' in Praktyk' is daar 'n eenvoudige gewaarborgde ' suksesresep'....
Oh, what an authority I thought I was back when I married.
Time doesn't just fly; it flashes by like a rocket......... without anyone ever noticing, especially if you are so engaged in 'activities' desperately trying to make 'ends meet' , beside the 'odds'.......
Contrary to popular opinion, NO relationship has ever been sheltered from life's harsh winds.
If I could share one thing with you today that I have learned (through God's Grace), it would be this:
In many ways, the same is true of any 'relationship', - friendship, work relationship, etc.
When I think back to July 16, 1988—the day two 'idealistic' people with stars in their eyes, committed themselves to each other for life—I realize we had no idea what threatening storms lay ahead . . . or what unspeakable joys would be ours, welding us together....or separating us,eventually....
Nevertheless, what other 'excuses' /'issues' /obstacles there may be (that can be worked through); 'mutual' commitment is the sole determining factor, that differentiate between the 'survival' or the 'failure' of a relationship !
Baie 'gesaghebbende' kommentaar is beskikbaar oor die onderwerp...
Dog, ' in Praktyk' is daar 'n eenvoudige gewaarborgde ' suksesresep'....
Oh, what an authority I thought I was back when I married.
Time doesn't just fly; it flashes by like a rocket......... without anyone ever noticing, especially if you are so engaged in 'activities' desperately trying to make 'ends meet' , beside the 'odds'.......
But you don't live that long with the same person without learning a few things.....
In retrospect....
- I have discovered how to read between lines;
- To hear feelings never spoken;
- I've come to see so much hidden behind the eyes....
Anyone who is married will tell you this vow of lifelong commitment is much easier said than done.
Every marriage encounters unexpected obstacles and challenges that threaten its survival.
However, instead of running away, troubles are the perfect time to run to God, who offers healing help for your marriage.
How can ANY marriage survive and even thrive in spite of trying seasons?
Anyone who is married will tell you this vow of lifelong commitment is much easier said than done.
Every marriage encounters unexpected obstacles and challenges that threaten its survival.
However, instead of running away, troubles are the perfect time to run to God, who offers healing help for your marriage.
How can ANY marriage survive and even thrive in spite of trying seasons?
God has used the ' failure' of my marriage to temper my 'Intensity'—a process that's still taking place, patiently becoming a person of much more 'patience'....
Contrary to popular opinion, NO relationship has ever been sheltered from life's harsh winds.
Although the 1st 10-years of my marriage were absolutely Bliss & a 'God-send' from Heaven; a change in 'physical circumstances' did change a spouse's perception....
On top of that, being remotely separated (in another country), thus, far from 'extended family' is NOT that easy to live with (from a non-committal 'women's perspective', that placed her extended family 1st...)
Yet, we've failed to make it..... to reach the 20-year milestone, despite the wonderful initial prospects...
Why..?
Because (we) / I have yet to discover in 'pragmatic' spelled-out 'Steps' from God's Word, what makes a marriage work, & to apply those truths as often & as personally as possible.........
The latter were not destined, to be part of 'this' marriage.
Yet, being 'divorced in absentia', -left scars that are ONLY of any 'purpose', if through 'paradigm-shifts', the past are not to be repeated, in the 'God-of-2nd-chances' predestined Plan, for each of us.......
Ideally, 'next time' (if ever), I would like .........
* God's Grace & Love, to 'set the example' & form the 'Foundation' of one another's Grace, Love & Commitment for & towards each other..... '24x7 ' !
* God's Grace & Love, to 'set the example' & form the 'Foundation' of one another's Grace, Love & Commitment for & towards each other..... '24x7 ' !
* Our dedication-in-strengthening our marriage to know no bounds.
All the above, should be a mutual pledge, -to one another, of 'Growing-Mutually-Stronger'
If I could share one thing with you today that I have learned (through God's Grace), it would be this:
A marriage stays strong, ONLY, when both people remain 100% committed to one another & the 'marriage' during the 'difficult' days.
It takes two...., one spouse can't succeed alone; & can NOT make it work; it is a mutual 'Law-abiding' two-way street !
In many ways, the same is true of any 'relationship', - friendship, work relationship, etc.
When I think back to July 16, 1988—the day two 'idealistic' people with stars in their eyes, committed themselves to each other for life—I realize we had no idea what threatening storms lay ahead . . . or what unspeakable joys would be ours, welding us together....or separating us,eventually....
(Unfortunately, the latter was destined to be chosen by one spouse, because of greener pastures, a 3rd party offered.... )
But alas, a 'Successful' Marriage needs ONLY 'two', -to weather hard times.......any 3rd person, 'Guarantees Failure'
The key to relationship survival is : Unwavering Commitment . . .1-t0-1; spouse-to-spouse.
The key to relationship survival is : Unwavering Commitment . . .1-t0-1; spouse-to-spouse.
Things like....
... To take full responsibility for the relationship (Giving 100%), BUT expecting nothing ( 0%) in return.
... The impact / influence of well-meaning, but negative family/ friends;
... Giving each other 'space';
... Cultivating 'My Best friend' -relationship towards one another;
... Forgiving & Forgetting issues of the past;
are all secondary to the unwavering 'Decision of commitment'
... To take full responsibility for the relationship (Giving 100%), BUT expecting nothing ( 0%) in return.
... The impact / influence of well-meaning, but negative family/ friends;
... Giving each other 'space';
... Cultivating 'My Best friend' -relationship towards one another;
... Forgiving & Forgetting issues of the past;
are all secondary to the unwavering 'Decision of commitment'
Nevertheless, what other 'excuses' /'issues' /obstacles there may be (that can be worked through); 'mutual' commitment is the sole determining factor, that differentiate between the 'survival' or the 'failure' of a relationship !
Are you 'truly' committed in 'your' relationship...... 'till death do you part' ..! ?
"Therefore comfort one another with these words"
MARANATHA and SHALOM!
1 Thessalonians 4:18
MARANATHA and SHALOM!
1 Thessalonians 4:18
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