"I am writing this because I want you to cry tears of joy on every wedding anniversary.
I want you to be able to say, with all sincerity, :
'Next to becoming a Christian, marrying, .... is the best decision I've ever made.'"
No marriage is easy, but some marriages build each partner up, while others tear each partner down; every marriage takes time and effort, but some marriages 'sap' the spouses' strength, while others generate joy and enthusiasm and intimacy.....
You are more likely to make a wise marriage choice if you settle the "why" question before considering the "who".
Some startling facts.......
* No matter who you marry, the feelings of romantic attraction are likely to wear off within 12 to 18 months!
* If you seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness, you will set yourself up for a more fulfilling, spiritually enriching and more satisfying marriage!
* Infatuation leads far more people astray than into satisfying marriages!
* While it can seem like a tremendous ego boost to have someone seem like they are desperate for you, ask yourself if you're willing to play the role of God in their life?
* The Bible encourages us to use wisdom, not destiny, as our guide when choosing a marital partner......
* Important factors to consider include scriptural mandates, wisdom, parental and pastoral advice, & ........ prayer
* If you marry for money, health or looks, keep in mind that none of these are certain to remain...!
* You're not just choosing a life partner; you're choosing your kids' future parent!
* The man or woman you're thinking of marrying should be someone whose character can survive major life challenges
* Choosing Godly character above all else in whom your going to marry!
* A relationship requires two people getting to know each other, and then every day they have to choose to keep relating to each other or ........risk of drifting apart!
* It takes from 9 to 14 years for two individuals to stop thinking of themselves as individuals and to start thinking of themselves as a couple!
* It's hard to accept that we are going to hurt someone we love so much, but if we marry them, we will...!
Most people when searching for a spouse are doing it all wrong....
They are placing the search above all else.
Matthew 6:33 "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you"
I want to make a promise to you: if you will see first God's kingdom and His righteousness and let that agenda drive your decision regarding whom you choose to marry and refuse to compromise on that, you will set yourself up for a much more fulfilling , spiritually enriching, and overall more satisfying marriage.
The degree to which you compromise on this verse is the degree to which you put your future satisfaction in jeopardy and open wide the door to great frustration and even regret.
You know why so many relationships slowly wither into nothingness?
They stop seeking first the kingdom of God.
There's no overarching mission in the couple's lives beyond self-enjoyment.
This entraps them in a life of petty battles and superficial cares. . . .
Living by the gospel provides the security so necessary to build a foundation of mutual fellowship
While it is true that there are pains and heartaches in marriages, I wish to emphasize, that there is hope.
Rather than to marry and then regret the decision, the key is to search from the perspective of seeking God's Kingdom and God's Righteousness first, and to trust God to provide for our marital answers.
It isn't about " finding the one", -but about "Serving The One" who loves you most?
Far too many people see happiness as the first priority in marriage...!
That largely explains the falling out of love and the failing marriages among many.
Being in love just is not enough..........
Finding a 'right' partner is also insufficient.
Being the 'right' partner is more correct.
Mere romantic attraction as a reason to get married is also foolish.
The problem is that romantic love is "involuntary," hard to "control," and temporary...
In order to start well, we need a spiritual redemption ourselves.
Regulate both sexual passions, physical and psychological attractions with spiritual clarity toward wisdom and vulnerability.
Women should to be more concerned for their mens' spiritual conditions, especially godliness.
In fact, godliness must be a higher priority than emotional connections or romantic skills.
For the men....
Do yourself a favour.....
Answer this question: "If physical attraction was put aside, would you still be attracted to this women for other reasons...?"
....Avoid succumbing to gorgeous looks or sexual chemistry as a primary criteria!
Find a wife who is seeking God's kingdom first!
The best chance at sexual fulfilment is not the appearance or act but a woman of virtue, who models Christ-likeness and noble character.
If both husband and wife are placing God's Kingdom first, they will get the answer to the "why" that helps them find the "who."
Look for "soul mates" rather than mere "sole mates."
Rather than looking for one particular person to "complete us," seek to be the most complete biblical wife or husband that the Bible teaches.
Far too many people are taking "short cuts" by using the idea of God's will to speedily get to their ideal wife or husband, when what is needed is the hard work of spiritual discernment, testing, and searching themselves whether they are seeking God's Kingdom and Righteousness first and foremost.
There is also the danger of putting our marriage search into some kind of a "marriage lottery." Only in wisdom can we learn to discern the sacred search and the reason why we should or should not marry.
Like the heart that motivates the actions, the spiritual inspiration ignites the desire to make a marriage work.......
People are not things....
We can find things like finding a phone to purchase, an idea to implement, a car to own, or a school to attend.
Not people.
No-one is ever disposable...like a thing!
Spouses are not people that we find in order to become perfect matches for us.
Instead, a spouse is someone that we make, that we groom, that we encourage to become more like Christ, to seek God's Kingdom and God's Righteousness first.
Seeking Truly a God-centred view of Marriage.......
Do not marry because someone has all the aesthetic qualities or exceptional abilities, for they will slow down one day, or their skills will diminish.
Neither should we marry someone simply because we show mercy or feel pity for that person, for soon we have to grapple with feeling pity for ourselves.
Asking "who" we should marry is the secondary question.
The primary question is "why" do we want to marry, which is a question that is intimately tied to Matthew 6:33 !
Remember.......
James 3:2 "All of us stumble in many ways..." and when we marry someone we are marrying an imperfect person that cannot satisfy or complete us, ..... -only God can!
Relationships & marriage are NOT primarily for the purpose of us finding a partner, but about bringing glory to God and growing in Holiness.....
Shalom & Maranatha....
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