The ONLY 5 Words that REALLY matters are.............

1.....The
2. ....Quality
3. ....of
4. ....my/Your
5. ....Relationships..!


"80% (Eighty percent) of life's satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships." 


Think about it...when you look back at the end of your life what will really matter? 


Five words...the quality of your relationships. 

I believe it to be true of all relationships. 

Food for thought.......?

A teacher, leader,friend should aim for the heart -  


"They don't care how much you know -  until they know how much you care"

  "....it's not what you say, but how you say it"

So here's the question....
If your relationships are the most important part of your life, what are you doing to make them all they can be?
What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? 
It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. 

It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. 

Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. 

For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.

STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.

STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.

STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work,"

 "I'm right, you are wrong," 

"I know it and you don't," 

"I'll teach you," 

"that's just the way it is," 

"I need to tell you what I know," etc.

Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like 

"Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," 

"I could be wrong," 

"I wonder if there is anything of value here," 

"I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox

This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: 

When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. 

Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. 

When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

You’re probably familiar with the old adage “it takes two to tango.” 
But to have happier, more productive relationships, you've got to stop dancing. The 100/0 Principle is the simplest, most direct and most effective way to create solid relationships; relationships that will benefit you both personally and professionally.
While it may take two to tango, it only takes you to commit to creating a relationship with the people in your life. Take full responsibility for your relationships and consciously choose to suspend judgment of people. Indeed, treat them with respect and dignity whether deserved or not.
Think about to whom you can apply The 100/0 Principle. 
Almost all parents easily and naturally have a 100/0 relationship with their children and grand-children—a state of unconditional love. 
Parents might not love how their children behave, but regardless of the tantrums and stubbornness, the fits and idiosyncrasies, at the end of the day, parents still have a fierce love for their children.
Most of us also have 100/0 relationships with our close friends. Our friends have proven themselves to us, so it’s fairly easy for us to take full responsibility for our friendships in good times or bad.
It’s in the other important relationships in my life, and probably yours too, where our track record needs improvement:


Marriage: The divorce rate has been around 50% for a long time..
Yet research has shown that virtually all marriages have challenges. 

Why does one person stay with a challenging marriage, while another looks for happiness in another mate? 

Certainly one valid explanation is the 100/0 Principle—whether someone chooses to take real responsibility for the relationship rather than depending on their marriage partner as their primary source of happiness. 

Remember that no one can make you happy, happiness is a response that you choose.


Extended Family. 
Brothers, sisters, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews. 

Most of us tend to have a spotty record here too.
We tend to forget that our family members are the only ones we have—my Aunt Gertruida is my only Aunt Gertruida.........
It behooves me to create and sustain a relationship with her, and with my other extended family members too.
What someone allegedly said or did to someone else 10 years ago shouldn’t impact your happiness today.
It’s your choice whether you let it or not (Rational vs Irrational thinking.....)
When you hold onto ill feelings you’re victimizing yourself.
Let it go and take responsibility for making a positive future. 

You’re in charge of you and your actions.


Coworkers, Customers, Suppliers:
The success of an individual, a team, or an entire organization depends largely on the quality of the relationships.
Remember, actions + relationships = results.
When it comes to your coworkers, customers and suppliers, practice 100/0: take responsibility for those relationships, period.


People You Meet: 

We tend to automatically react in a judgmental manner when we meet others.

The 100/0 Principle is the antithesis to judgment. It’s about deciding that you are in charge, not your automatic tendencies.

Shalom