Relationship Expectations ..... Idealistic vs Realistic !

In human Encounters (relationships) it is 'natural' for me,  (as the case with most(?) people), -to have 'idealistic' expectations, especially  in 'new' relationships...

After some time those 'dreams' might dilute to feelings of irritation, frustration & dissatisfaction, -because of the 'difference' (as a negative/deficit), between the expectation and the 'actual state of affairs'..... 
(If the 'Bona Fides' only had been spelled-out / 'underplayed' , right from the start..., it wouldn't have become such big issue...!)

Some suggestions to counter these disparities that might lead to dissatisfaction, include......:

* MY 'Joy' is solely my own accountability.....

- Joy "Blydskap" is within myself.....

It's mentioned....."you're the captain of your soul; master of your faith..."

- The Lord has Given me/you the "Free Choice" to choose our 'own mood' at our own discretion. Although many 'feelings' might have been triggered by the culmination of many things, experiencing those 'uncomfortable feelings' unfortunately, -eventually becomes a 'bad habit'...

- "To Feel....good , bad or ugly....." is a 'rational decision' NOT a consequence of circumstances..... (Yes, It can be influenced by circumstances, but the 'locus of control' thereof, is as with many other emotions, (e.g. 'forgiveness'), -within myself...... "An attitude, a willingness to..."

- If I'm 'down in the dumps'... I must get out of my 'cocoon' and off my back-side and be of 'help'/aid to others less fortunate, that might need my help desperately....  
(Thereby I'll take my pitiful eyes off "I, me and myself " and focus them on someone that can really do with a shoulder to lean and cry on. I stand astonished (in retrospect), many a time, that I had been the one 'blessed most' in these endeavors....)

* Allow the people that are 'around' me (i.e. spouse , children, family and friends), to be 'imperfect' /'a work-in-progress', in their own right within reasonable limits or to be at liberty with their own 'idiosyncrasies'

- Be 'Gracious' (i.e. Abundance in allowing "Grace" / Blessing others with the 'Love of Christ' flowing through .....ME!)

- Allow them to... just be 'themselves', without having to 'live-up to the expectations of what me', -might have subjectively of them!

* Focus on the 'Positive' ! 

- That what you 'Focus on ...will Magnify'! Eventually the 'negative' might become 'less important'
Don't let the 'few irritations' create 'unhealthy stresses & strains' in ANY relationship

- Do yourself a favor ....... compile a list of 'All of the Positive' attributes, of 'this person' that is an irritation /frustration to you.....  (If you're 'bluntly honest' with yourself, you might stand amazed, about the wonderful much-overlooked attributes in this person you viewed [wrongfully], -so negatively...! )

* ' Toughen-up'...!   
Being 'touchy' is equivalent to 'selfishness'.......

(" Liggeraaktheid, is Liefdeloosheid........")  


* Have a 'Servant's -heart'...!

Php 2:5  Let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus,
Php 2:6  To whom, though himself in the form of God, it did not seem that to take for oneself was to be like God;
Php 2:7  But he made himself as nothing, taking the form of a servant, being made like men;

- You be the one that is available to 'serve the others' ....... 

- A 'Slave /(servant)-in-Christ' has NOT got any Expectations..... Everything that's received is in/through Grace!   
(" Alles wat ek 'is', -is deur Genade, -wat ek het, is maar NET geleen..")

- 'Peace' is to be achieved by ......:

~ NOT via The 'Roman Way' ...... Conquering and control of others "Want to BE Served" 

.......... ~ vice verse ~...........

~ Via , The 'Jesus Way'....... Love through the concept of Servant-Leadership!  " Want to Serve"
 e.g. Other Biblical 'Paradoxes' 
~ Fathers' Love : It's only when we're 'weak' we receive the 'Fathers' Love'

~ Joy : Via washing the 'feet' not by 'washing the head' of others.. ; 
~ Abundance: Via Giving , not by 'taking/hording'

[ Interesting Scientific Fact: The most 'genuinely thankful' people are those that have got the 'least' ; The 'rich,.... are NEVER satisfied, ...(They always want '1 cent', more ..!) ]

" Lord, Please Guide me, that I don't 'misuse' others;  Use (Utilize) me, that that I could be a Blessing in Serving those that I lead /encounter; Please Protect me that I never "drop" (deny) You! "  (HJ : Des. 13'09)