Being in Disagreement.........?

From Many years ago, -I recall.........
In the middle of one of my parents' more memorable disagreements, my father jumped up from the table, grabbed two sheets of paper, and said to my mother:
 "Let's make a list of everything we don't like about each other....! " 
Mom started writing....... 
Dad glowered at her for a few minutes, and then wrote on his paper. 
She wrote again. 
He watched her, and every time she stopped, he would start writing again. 
They finally finished. 
"Let's exchange complaints," Dad said. 
They gave each other their lists.
 "'Give mine back," Mom pleaded when she glanced at his sheet. 
All down the page Dad had written: "I love you, I love you, I love you."
Emotionally, they were simmering inside and also lonely for each other, but were unable to reach out and communicate these feelings. They were in a "cold war" with both waiting for the other to make the first move to melt the icy atmosphere....
When Love is 'Big-enough' to Forgive without regrets, because it is based on Jesus Christ's example as cornerstone, any Relationship has a future........


A Probing ( seldom answered) Question nevertheless remains......
"Is it possible to pro-actively 'avoid' assumed misunderstandings ( that form the basis of most conflicts) ... ? 


One of the main reasons relationships start to fail is........ a lack of communication. 
Sure, there are probably other underlying problems - like you hate the way she nags you about never spending time with her - but the one problem that always amplifies all other problems is a lack of communication


* Understand that happiness comes within. 
If you are one of those people that says "my partner doesn't make me happy", maybe you should consider for a moment why you thought they would? 
True happiness comes from within, and unless your partner is a true horror of humanity, a thoroughly unpleasant person, chances are the only reason you are unhappy is because of something inside yourself, some unfulfilled potential or 'unspoken'/hidden dream...!


 * Unify your home. 
Talk over how you picture your home in your mind. 
It's important to agree on this, as if you both aspire to making the home a different way, it's going to cause long term conflict. 
The typical example is the man wanting his home to look like his home, with his things where he can get at them etc, and the woman wanting everything neatly filed away at all times like a show home. 
You need to compromise together, as it's not really fair for either of you to expect the other to live how you want them to. 


* Never compare your relationship to one from the past, or your partner to a past partner. 
This is never good. 
Firstly, no two relationships are alike. 
They can't be, as every couple has so many fine points of interaction, it would literally be impossible to replicate with a different person in the mix. 
It's like comparing your pet dog to a goldfish you used to have; Ridiculous. 


* Arrange some together time. 
It doesn't even need to be a particularly large amount of time, the point is that it should be just the two of you and no distractions. 
No TV, no company, just the two of you. 
This will help you retain a sense of how to interact with each other..... 


* Actively reminisce about past times. 
The good times you have shared can act like the glue that bonds you together, and it can be genuinely good fun to talk about the past and exciting things you have done together. 
Another plus point to this is that the more exciting and fun things you do with each other, the more stuff you will have to reminisce about, as a Bonus! 

Shalom